Fathers & Finance

Working mothers.

Many women do it. Some want to work outside of the home, some have no other choice. What is the best situation for a family? For the children?

Often times, mothers go out into the work force to help support the family in time of need. When mothers leave the home, childcare now has to be arranged. If family does not live in the area, typically child care ends up being a private babysitter/nanny or a daycare facility. Child care, no matter if it is public or private, can get extremely expensive, especially with multiple children! When the added expense of child care, transportation, and meals outside the home are taken into account, many mothers end up not contributing to the finances in the home, but rather result in taking time away from their children.

Many people, women especially, feel that being a stay-at-home mom is a waist of time and a waist of a college education. College is expensive, yes. But no matter what was spent on earning whatever degree, it is never a waist. Perhaps you won't be working and making a difference to a company, but you would be making a difference in the lives of your children. There is always something that will come from any kind of education that will benefit children.

Parents are children's first teachers. Being an educated homemaker will help mothers be better teachers for their children. Is has also been proven that educated parents have better relationships with their spouses and their children.

Want to be a stay at home mom but still get some kind of intellectual stimulation? There are many options for you! Who is to say that you cannot still continue your education? There are places online that you can take FREE college courses from Universities like Harvard and Stanford.

If working out of the home is necessary for you or you just prefer to work, by all means, do what you feel you should, but in my opinion, a mother in the home is significantly greater than a mother in the workforce.

Communication & Mutual Problems

I'm a firm believer that *most* contention comes from miscommunication. Often times, people do not speak their mind, missing opportunities for them to share their true feelings about a situation. When this happens, the other person is not acting with a complete knowledge of the situation at hand, leaving room for feelings to get hurt and contention to occur.

During class discussion this week, we learned just how important it is to communicate; especially with our spouses and family.

I've learned this lesson extremely well with my wife. When we first started dating, whenever there was a problem between the two of us, she would shut down and refuse to tell me her true feelings and what was upsetting her. It was incredibly difficult to solve problems that would arise because I did not know what her thoughts and feelings were.

As we have been together longer and are now married, thankfully our communication problems have greatly decreased! She is much better at telling me (quickly, too!) her feelings and I have become much better about listening.

The Family Under Stress

All families encounter crisis and conflicts. It's inevitable. Stresses can be anything from financial stress, loosing a job, having and raising children, or even the death of a loved one. The extent of the conflict or crisis vary between families, as well as does the reaction and result of the family and the dynamic.

There are really two results that can occur after a family crisis: A centrifugal serial (families pull away from each other) or a centripetal serial (families come closer together). The hope is that families grow closer together and have a stronger bond because they have experienced a crisis together and have worked through it the best way possible.

The reality is that stress is a good thing. It is necessary. Through stress and crisis, we can learn how to learn and grow together as spouses and families. We also grow as an individual. Many people believe that having stress in their life is bad, that it is harmful to their psyche. But the truth is that stress is only bad when you believe that it is bad, that it is negatively effecting you. If you recognize that stress in life in necessary and beneficial, you can not only have a better attitude about the challenges in your life, but also can actually help reduce the stress you feel because of your stress!

Sexual Intimacy and Family-Affair Prevention

Unfortunately, many relationships and marriage end because of infidelity. Cheating is not something that is unheard of. There are many marriages that I know of personally that have ended because one person became too close to someone other than their spouse.

Intimacy with anyone other than your spouse is wrong. But of course, most people would argue that they would never do something like this, that they love their spouse. However, cheating is typically not something that occurs randomly with a complete stranger. Most often, a husband or wife will develop a close relationship with a co-worker or friend that grows to the point of having strong feelings for the other. These feelings of intimacy can lead to physical intimacy and infidelity, ruining a marriage.

I think it is important to recognize that not only is physical intimacy with someone other that ones spouse is cheating. We learn in the Bible that "whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart" (Matthew 5:28). I also believe that even having strong feelings towards another, is cheating.

Couples should be careful to avoid close relationships with those of their opposite gender. Especially limiting alone time with them. Spouses are intended to be each others better half, best friend, and the person that you want to be with the most. When those feelings and actions begin to change, its important that it is recognized and the utmost effort it put into making your spouse a priority again.